Earlier this year, some friends and I went to a dinner hosted by Slow Food NS. It was a lovely evening with six delectable courses, each accompanied by wine. In fact, they put a bottle of wine down at the table at intervals of every 6 people. Allowing for a couple of designated drivers in our six, that evening just got better and better. For me, anyway. Ha!
Shortly after our party of four seated ourselves, a man and woman also sat down. I eyeballed him for a minute, and then asked if he used to work for CTV.
Him: “Well yes. I still do.”
Me: “Oh right. Well back in 1993 you came in to the gas station on Chebucto Road a couple of times. You drove a CTV truck right? I worked there for a while. I remember you.”
He stared at me, mouth agape, as I turned to my friend Sherri and giddily announced “And that, chummy, is how I win trivia games.”
I, like many, have a steel trap mind for things that rarely come in handy. My memory may not be useful for recalling how the shitting shit I am supposed to get to MicMac Mall from my sister’s house, or when anyone’s birthday is but my own, but I will tell you what it does come in handy for:
The List of Grievances.
The List is long and it is detailed. There is a ranking system, based on a matrix too complex to possibly be legitimate, suffice it to say that there are sections involving anti-Gingerists, those who catch and release spiders, and insults to the perfection of Tom Selleck.
Why would you even think of insulting this man?
In the ages to come, I will occasionally get out The Big Book of Grievances, the main repository for the List, which I think some of you thought I was kidding about, and discuss a pertinent chapter or two.
And yes, you are probably in it.
I’m afraid I’ll be on the list. I refuse to persecute spiders because they kill flies. On the other hand I’m a fan of women with ginger hair. (I will take the piss out of people that insist it’s Strawberry blonde though)
I htink we can find some balance there
I’m looking forward to hearing about your grievances. Unlike you, I have a piss poor memory but when it comes to cataloguing my own grievances I am an enthusiast.
I’m still pissed I missed the dinner.
I only kill spiders that needs killin. Same’s ever body else.
Well that’s relative, isn’t it? Pardner?
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