The laminated mini notes for bad parking are some of the most popular items in the shop, so I went ahead and made a few new sets. One features hilarious cute little bunnies saying the darnedest things; the other has greasy sewer rats giving bad parkers what for.
Eeeee! Cute bunnies!
Why did I make these? Well that’s the sort of woman I am…a woman with nothing better to do with her spare time than sit at her computer, quietly trying to squeeze out one more ounce of funny from her pores. Pores that are clogged with flop-sweat from having to be ‘on’ for you people 24/7.
Do you think I am funny all the time? Do you not imagine that I am a sensitive being? That maybe sometimes I like to sit quietly in the forest and contemplate how small we all really are? But I don’t sit quietly in a forest. I sit at my shitty laptop, shouting out half-assed punchlines and clawing at my throat, feeling like I am suffocating out of sheer frustration.
That’s MY LIFE people. And it’s the way it is because of you. You, who never stop to imagine what it’s like to be a one-woman squirrel factory…shoving funny little furry fuckers out of my system like I am some sort of rodent who passes a litter every 35 days, give or take. Like I just scurry into your attic and squeeze out a pack of new babies because YOU ARE TIRED OF THE SAME OLD CARDS. MAYBE I WANT TO STOP HAVING SO MANY BABIES! MAYBE I WANT A CAREER! Maybe I just want to crawl into my closet for a while and cry the hot, salty tears of a clown. Maybe your desperate, clingy neediness has finally broken me.
Leave me. Just leave me.
PS – Don’t forget to check out the custom packs of mini notes!
That’s was so…so… BEAUTIFUL…. !!!
(sharp inhale)
I’ll be OK in a sec.
It takes a seller to know a seller.
Now go..go tell the tale of the blog wixt made thee inhale.
New look is great!
Now I will let you recuperate in peace.
Too kind.
Hi,
I don’t know where else to leave this, so here it is. I purchased your fabulous parking cards, at a store in Forest Park, Il, and I have to say, I’ve been sharing them with a quantity of inept douchebags since the day of purchase. The nice part is, if the person learns something, the cards are laminated, so they can, in turn, share with other socially inept. Ah, cycle of life, the stuff of dreams…anyhow, to the story.
I was parking in a Home Depot, (building supplies, talentless employees, etc.), when much to my dismay, I discovered someone not helping with the societal burden of parking correctly. Quickly, I reached into a pocket, and whipped out a bunny parking card, dexterously, placing it on the drivers side window. He was parked half in a handicapped spot, and half in a regular spot, with a ginormous truck, that he was clearly not qualified to operate. So, feeling pretty good about myself, I went in the store, and completed my purchase. Little did I know, the treat I was going to get, walking out to my car. Picture if you will, a little angry bridge troll of a man, huffing and cursing, looking frantically around for someone, to vent to.
Troll,”Son of a, WHO, GRRRRRR”
Me,”What’s up bud.”
Troll, “Someone put this godd¥£€, card on my Fu$#%<€, truck!"
He hands me the card, and I pretend to read it seriously for a second, I then look at the truck, the handicapped sign, and finally him, I hand him back the card and say..
Me, "Yup, seems about right."
As I'm walking away, he starts a tirade, cursing me out, stomping his feet, and is seething over with indignation, that anyone would call him out, on his shitty parking.
It was, to me, hilarious, I laughed so hard I thought a little pee was going to come out. Thanks for helping those of us, who try to be socially conscientious, help our less aware friends, to become more aware, that yes, they are not the glowing center of the universe, they thought they were…
By the way, the card simply read, Look at the fuzzy bunny! Oh, you already were…well that explains how you managed to park like shit here.
Please feel free to move this post wherever you feel it would do the most good for sales, cause, I like me some Wry & Ginger!
Thanks,
Chuck
Me,"